Inanity's Guest Post: Retro Beauty Memories

Hello everyone, today I'm getting the day off and I have Claire from World of Kitsch doing a little guest post for me. Claire is a self confessed beauty novice but one thing she knows is retro so I think you're in good hands. Enjoy everyone, I'll be back before you know it!

Delighted to be masquerading as a beauty blogger, guesting here for Dawniepants. We've been having a nostalgia-fest on Twitter today, and if there's a topic I know about it's kitsch and retro stuff, even make-up. So let me take you through five teenage beauty trends that will have you oohing & ahhing about your school days. Best read accompanied by a soundtrack of Boyzone's Greatest Hits.

1. The Stench of the Nineties
The school rule was the more perfume the better. Everyone reeked of Impulse body sprays & Christmas gift set perfumes. Were you a Charlie girl? (Blue, Red or White?) Or maybe like me you 'made a statement, without saying a word' with your Exclamation 10ml eau de toilette. Posher types drowned themselves in Cool Water, or CK One. Get yourself down to Superdrug & have a sneaky sniff off these old favourites, the memories come crashing back.

2. Sneaky Make-up
Most schools banned make-up, so you had to be crafty if you were a die-hard slap fan. Remember the trend for clear mascara? It did nothing of course, just made your lashes stick together.
Lip balms were most girls' 'gateway drug' product into the world of beauty. I was totally addicted to them. Boots Natural Collection strawberry was a favourite, and the heavy little glass jar ones from The Body Shop. We used to apply so much of the stuff I'm surprised my lips aren't still shining now I'm in my thirties.

3. Hairy Teenage Moments
Hair toners were always very exciting. Little sachets of dye that your mum eventually gave in to letting you have. I think they were called Glints? You'd parade into school thinking you were Jennifer Aniston with you dramatic hair colour change that only you could really notice.
The boys weren't immune to hair disasters either. A spritz of Sun-In & they all thought they were in Bros.

4. Dumb Beauty.
I'm going to remind you of a trend that you've probably forgotten, and I'm truly sorry for bringing it back to your consciousness. Hair Mascara.
It was pointless. Mascara, for your hair, applied with a mascara wand in a streaky fashion. All it did was make you look like a bird had taken a metallic blue sh** on you from above. A terrible trend, shame on you beauty brands.
Some other horrible products brought up in the Twitter nostalgia chat included stick on gems and cuff earrings. Shudder.

5. Right back to the Start

Finally, the awwwh factor. Tinkerbell make-up. This was the pretend, little girl make-up your mum, or more often a cheeky aunt would have got you in primary school.
Lipstick that didn't really do much, very faintly tinted scented nail varnish, and powder that made you look a bit dead. All these had to be carried around in one of Mum's old handbags, whilst doing a very grown up face (not smiling).

Hope you've enjoyed the run down. If its brought back any memories of other forgotten products, let me @rudedoodle or @dawniepants know.


Fab Fingertips. said...

Dear Lord, I remember these awful things, especially that Exclamation perfume, all the girls who had it thought they were grown up (whilst giving me an asthma attack!!).

Lauren said...

I am guilty of wearing Exclamation and thinking I was the shizz! Haha! Oh and Tinkerbell make up when I was wee, awwwh!

Cassy said...

Oh dear, I must confess to all of the above! But I did love that peel off tinkerbell nail varnish!

Caroline said...

I remember wearing glittery purple hair mascara, what was I thinking! x

Dawniepants said...

Lol glad you liked it girls, it was a very popular twitter conversation. Much 'OMG do you remember' that hair mascara is the exact one I had, awful clumpy stuff. Did we really think it looked 'natural' ? 'Oh yeah this one strand of my hair is just more oily and blue than the rest'.

Lol fab.

Dawniepants said...

Just a quick note, who else remembers Shout Magazine, Just Seventeen and Sugar? And who else used absolutely every rubbish free product they got with it religiously!

Oh me!

clairewriteswords said...

So many memories. Not all of them good.

At our school we always tried to get past the no nail varnish thing with that horrible pearly white stuff that was probably cool in 1973 but made your fingers look infected.

Tru said...

LOL Being a bit older, my memories include Ten O Six cleanser which made my skin so tight 'it must be working', blue mascara being SO in, hairspray by the gallon and Woodleigh Green Apple Shampoo. The smell of my youth was initially White Musk (Body Shop) followed by Anais Anais & Chanel No.19 (the height of sophistication!). I volunteered at our local hair salon to have my hair done by the student stylists from the age of 14 so always had some colour or perm which is best forgotten...

Nay said...

All these things! Boots' Candy Floss lip balm, Dewberry body spray, Heather Shimmer lipstick! A bit later on, the trend for glitter gel on the browbone, or white nail polish with glitter sprinkled on top, while my friends were mad about lining their lips with black kohl before filling in with silver or blue lipsticks. Gross! And those Glints never did much but then came the henna hair mousse dye that was sticky and rancid!

Sara said...

This post is so fun! Brought back lots of memories. What were we thinking with hair mascara? seriously!!

Sun In was a close friend of mine for several years during big school, and I also remember having a little jar of Body Shop lipbalm mucking up the line of the pocket of my blazer.

Loved this ladies!

Kerry said...

Loved this post, brought back some disastrous memories..all laughable!!
p.s that tinkerbell nail varnish was ingenious!!
Kerry x

Belfast Blogger said...

Ahhh hair mascara! I had blocked that from my memory and it just came flooding back.

Kim said...

ha ha Exclamation! brings back memories....

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